Boobies are like jello

As I'm hanging up Cheese's laundry I'm filtering through and separating her pjs and spankies. I stumble across her 'braaaaawl' also known as her bra. It's a little training sports bra that she threw a fit to have on our last trip to Justice.

I casually toss it to her and tell her to put it in her pajamas. I also inform her that she should be wearing it since she asked for it. 

'Well you see, it's not very comfortable. The bottom stripe is kind of tight.' 

'Cheese, that never changes, for the purpose of your braaaaawl is to support your boobies. And you're built just like your momma so chances are you're gonna have big boobies, so you should get used to it.' 

'Why do some women have boobies that go to their belly buttons?'

*insert incredibly serious look here*

'Because they didn't wear a braaaaawl, Cheese.' 

'Well you wear one so why are your boobies so squishy? Are they made of jello?' 

'No sweet Cheesus, boobies are not made of jello.'

'Can you buy some the next time you go to the store? It's so good.'

What can I say? There's always room for jello...even when your attention span is that of a flea. 

Eight is Great

As Cheese's eighth birthday approaches I have to sit back and do a mental montage of the last few years.

When I found out that I was going to have a girl I was truly sad. I did not want a girl, I didn't want to deal with make up, periods or boys. I was stressing about this fact. But Big Papa took me shopping for pink things and my heart did a little happy dance, but I was still hesitant about having a girl.

Then a few short weeks later I was being wheeled into the operating room for her to be born by a c-section. As I laid on the operating table being stitched up I looked to my left and down, seeing the warming bed with my already screaming and pissed off child. I saw the pink hat on her head and I was in love. I knew at that moment that life was about to get a lot more interesting.

Cheese was a very difficult baby, colicky and never sleeping. Colic faded but sleeping never changed much. Only needing a few hours a night, I was doomed to be exhausted with an infant and toddler. We had after hours tea parties, midnight dress ups, and art exhibitions at 2 AM. It was fun, I will admit, exhausted as I was.

The best part of her toddler years? Her first sentence...

I still see it, as if it was yesterday. Not quite two years old, K-Man hit her while he was outside. Her little hands knotted into fists, shaking hard, her face turning more red by the second and finally, in a voice so tiny, she bellowed:

DAMMIT K-MAN!!!

Life only became more of a ride after her first sentiments. Testing her limits early on. Dropping the f-bomb by two and a half. Making exclamations about being adopted and sex instead of cupcakes.

THIS is what I signed up for! A child that is just like me. Most would find this as a curse but I see it as a great blessing. While I am paying for any wrongs I committed as a child, I am also watching her become quite the young lady. So polite in public with a mouth like a sailor at home.

This blog has been quiet for a while but it's because she just hasn't had a whole lot to say as of late. But they're happening and I am catching them.

Thank you for joining our side show that is my life.

And Cheese...

Thank you for all the laughs and the joys, and the tears over the last eight years. I love you, you monstrous little girl. You wonderful little gift from...above...yeah...above, that's what I want to say.

Happy Birthday Cheese! Here's to the next 8 years of your mouth!

FAYAT

Eating pizza for dinner, I see Cheese quickly eat her piece. I scarf down half a pizza in no time. She keeps taking all the crust from everyone and eating them and eying me the entire time.

We keep talking as she is eating, it goes a little bit something like this:

Cheese: I CAN'T STOP EATING THESE!! They are so good!

Me: Don't eat too many! They'll make you sick. And they are so good because they are full of yummy carbs.

Cheese: I don't care, I want to eat them all!

Me: Carbs make you chubby. Believe me I know.

Cheese: It's okay, when we take a family picture I make you look skinny cause I stand in front of you.

Me: *Blank stare, straight mouth*

Me: I was skinny when you were a baby.

Cheese: *Rolls eyes and makes a smirky face*

Cheese: *Looks down nose like a cop, moves her invisible aviators* I'm gonna need to see proof of this.

Me: Ask grandma!

Grandma: *Nods, laughing*

Cheese: I don't think so...

Me: What are you saying?

Cheese: Nothing...you told me if I couldn't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. And what I was gonna is NOT pooooolite.

Me: Are you saying I am fat?

Cheese: You're not fayat. (This is her drawl on it...I wish inflection of tone could be typed)

Me: Well, what exactly are you saying to me?

Cheese: *smirk* Nothing.

Me: Go ahead...say it.

Cheese: Well, *I* didn't say it but yes...yes, you are fayat.

Me: *straightest of straight line mouths*

Cheese shrugs her little shoulders, and smiles with that evil grin that looks so scarily familiar.

Now I am going to go eat a pint of ice cream and add to my fayat...wait that's NOT polite!

Greatest Day EVAR

Cheese gets new stickers while on vacation with Papaw and Grandma in the Smokey Mountains.

"This is the GREATEST day of my life"

I wish, even if for a moment, that I could be THAT excited for something so menial as stickers. 


Cheese gets a new puppy beanie baby while on vacation with Papaw and Grandma in the Smokey Mountains.

"This is definitely the GREATEST day of my life"

Cheese gets rocks from the Mill in the Smokey Mountains:

"The Smokey Mountains are the GREATEST days ever!"

Cheese gets fudge from the candy store in the Smokey Mountains and eats all of it before returning home:

"Can you take me back next weekend to get more chocolate fudge?"

"I can make you fudge at home, Cheese. " says Grandma

"But I want to go back to the Smokeys naow!"

Cheese had the GREATEST days of her eight short years in the Smokey Mountains. I am guessing we will be making another trip soon.