Big butts make BIG farts.

I am almost ashamed to post this one...ALMOST.

Big Poppa farted, as daddy's tend to do once and a while, and it was very loud.

 The Cheese, from another room, laughs out loud and says "I HEARD THAT!"

The night continues without another word. As Big Poppa is getting his things ready for work the next day Cheese is being her usual "I don't want to go to bed because I can run off 8 minutes of sleep for 2 weeks" six-year-old self. She keeps hitting her daddy in the back and butt.

On the last punch to the ass Big Poppa farts in her general direction. (At least I am not a hamster and her father does not smell of elderberries.) She holds her nose and very loudly exclaims "YOUR FART WAS BIG LIKE GRANDMA'S!!!"

*Fits of convulsive laughter begin now*
*Texts Grandma to let her know what is being said, Grandma replies 'I'm not keeping anymore of her secrets either then.'*

Cheese goes running to her room and then opens the door to tell me she is ready for bed. Not another word from her about farting like Grandma.I tuck her in and get the Bird and myself ready for bed also. Big Poppa is already in bed, he leaves in the wee hours of the morn to go to work.

The next morning I awake to Gaga-esque eyes staring at me from the side of my bed. (It's so creepy waking up to this every Saturday morning. You think by this time I would be used to it but it's just not working out that way.) She says nothing and crawls into bed with me.

We lay there for a moment, a shared mother/daughter moment of sweetness and innocence...lost to the first words out of her mouth....

"To make big farts like Grandma you need a really big butt...Daddy has a huge butt!"

Hello Saturday...I've been waiting for you.

Again, we go on about our business, nothing more is said. She gets ready for dance and we head off with our dance bag, water bottles and Cheese. I drop her off and enjoy my hour and a half without her, doing nothing much else but waiting for her.

We get into the car, and when there are 10 little dance friends running to their cars to this can be quite the feat. And she looks at me and says quite honestly, "I need to go home and wash my body in a shower because when daddy put that big fart on me it made me stink like hell."

*Hangs head and stifles the laughter that should ensue.*

I guess we better go get some Lever because that fart penetrated all 2000 parts.